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| Advent- In expectation of… |
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| Monday, 29 November 2010 10:55 | |||
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It happened three times. The joy of having a positive pregnancy test. The expectation of the day when the new baby would be born. I clearly remember the day when my youngest brother was born. The whole family was looking forward to meet the new baby. I remember well that I could come and see the baby in the middle of the night. It was so special. I wanted that to! When I was little I dreamed of having a family. When I grew up I still dreamed of having a family. God gave me a husband. He gave us a child. He gave us three children. And with our three children; everything changed. Mary rejoiced over her pregnancy with Jesus. She says: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed,” Luke1: 46-48 But having Jesus changed her life. 33 years later, her ‘dream’ hang on a cross. Was that what she imagined when she became pregnant with the son of God? Was she still thankful that God, her Savior, had been ‘mindful’ of her? Her mothers heart cried, her mothers heart broke Because God was mindful of her, His humble servant. When Joas came, our lives changed. With dreamed about him, over him and the dreams continue as he gets older. When Tim came, our lives changed again. With dreamed about him, over him and the dreams continue as he gets older. When Hannah came, our lives changed. We dreamed about her. She was my dearest wish. A little girl to complete our family. She died. And with that my dreams changed. I rejoiced when we found out it was a little girl. I thanked God for the miracle of our third child. But his, the death of that same miracle, was not what I had in mind. This was not my dream. And so I stand; with my lost dream. My heart cried, my heart broke Because God was mindful of me. My dream changed in a lifelong expectation of seeing her finally in heaven. To be able to finally hug her, get to know her, cuddle her. This was not why I rejoiced. This is not why I praised God the day we found out we were going to have another baby. But I pray, that through this whole process, I will learn to rejoice over the face God entrusted us with this baby. With this story. That I will rejoice that he changed my dreams into His perfect plans. That I will praise him because He has been mindful over me, His humble servant. Advent- in expectation of… We thank God for Jesus, His plan, Mary’s dream, who came to the earth. And I pray that one day I will be able to say My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.
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